Good Reasons

I've decided to write a blog. Not because I want to keep friends updated about what I do. Not because I want to rant on what some person did sometime for some reason. Not because I want to belong to some community.

But because I think.

And because I write.

You see, when I think, I write in my head. Except I don't ever write it down. When I write, I handwrite, and that energy I use to form loops with my pen in order to put meanings on the page keeps me from thinking.

I have recently acquired a laptop and have discovered that I can think while I type. Maybe it's the way my brain is wired. Maybe it's seeing my thoughts arrange themselves as they go. Maybe it's the strange feeling of power that comes with being able to organize your thoughts. Maybe it's seeing the words already there.

I've always thought that words were there for me to use. Somebody once made up words. For years and years and years, those words sat in a book. When I learned how to write, and I don't mean write, I mean write, those words became mine. Like wild animals who gradually become used to a presence, those words became used to me. When I learned to write, I suddenly saw how to place my words on a page to reflect what I thought. Everything that has and will and is being written in the whole wide Universe exists as words. All one has to do is to find them, find the right words, and tame them. Tame them so that they let themselves be laid down to rest on a piece of paper.

Thoughts flow. When I think, I write. When I learned to write, I learned to think.

Thoughts are private. But humans are pack animals, and thus humans thoughts are meant to be shared.

Is it strange to think that I would rather share my thoughts with an anonymous someone whom I do not know and who does not know me, someone whose existence I did not even suspect, than with my closest friends? There is a certain privacy in the omniscience of the World Wide Web.

No one has a link to this page.

No one knows of its existence.

No one knows who the person writing these words is.

And yet they will be read.

The only way to find this page would be to stumble upon it by chance. And that is what I want.

I will have shared my most private thoughts without the need to check what I say for fear of offending someone, for fear of revealing a part of myself I do not want to show to the people around me, for fear of disappointing others.

Isn't this strange? And yet, it works.

These are my thoughts. Read them.