Girl From Nicaragua and I had a talk tonight.
About... stuff.
About life, about love.
Her boyfriend--whom she only recently met--is moving to California this week.
We talked about past loves, current loves, futures loves, loves that might have been and loves that could not be. There was seriousness, there was humor, there was bitterness, there was happiness.
If somewhat presumptuously, I took the liberty to wonder what would have happened had I not, in a moment I both deeply regret and cherish beyond measure, made a choice last August twenty-fourth and penned a missive that ought not to have been yet had a thousand reasons to be so.
It is entirely possible my life would, finally, have had a chance at a beginning of normalcy.
But, from what little retrospect I have, would this normalcy I sometimes pretend to crave have satisfied me? I think not.
I don't know what the future holds, and may come to dread it sooner than I'd like (when what you want is eternity, any time is too soon), but for the moment I am happy.
3 comments:
You've inspired me to another posting and it may not be the only one!
Oh how you make me miss those days so very long ago when we sat up all night putting the world (our own world mostly, of course) to rights.
But to be happy, however briefly, at any age below 21 is an achievement way above normalcy!!
To L'Archduchess:
I've made my way here from GB's post...
If there were at least a "thousand" reasons...at least one of them must have been a good reason.
;^)
...and that's all you need.
In August 1970 my then current girlfriend took a decision which altered both our lives. We went our separate ways. Do I still wonder how different it might have been - yes. Do I regret the way my life has turned out - no. 'Wondering' can be fun in idle nostalgic moments. But regrets there should never be because who knows how badly the alternative might have turned out. At least in dream-time wonderings the alternative can always have had a happy ending.
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