Sweet, because Mom's suitcases were filled with goodies of the kind we haven't seen in years. Relative, friends, neighbors piled her with food, chocolate, and gifts for our family. Grandpa sent three bags of his second-favorite papillotes, the kind that have witty sayings but lack the small firecrackers (those are his favorite) that the customs confiscated when he last sent us a package in the mail. Grandma bought a new present every day, for missed birthdays, Christmas, and to make up for not seeing us as often as she'd like. My aunt (who doubles as my godmother) sent presents for everyone, money to buy me a camera, and, a true sign of love, overcame her aversion and bought eight pounds of Clément Faugier. My other aunt sent a light-up Santa hat and plenty of (dirty) jokes for Mom to retell us, despite the fact that my mother is much more of a prude than her sister (which means we won't be hearing those jokes anytime soon... Alas.) Our old neighborhood sent two bags of orangettes and plenty of good wishes. My family has been celebrating Christmas by itself for over eight years, because we move so much and cannot afford to visit more than once every year or so. This year, it will feel sweet because so many people thought of us and sent a little bit of their Christmas cheer. This year, around the tree, we'll have our largest family yet.
But this Christmas will also be bitter. Because it is one of the last. Mom told me this morning that, after being away for a month, she has decided that she will completely separate from Dad. She doesn't know where she will live, but she knows that she can't leave Sis and Bro behind. The thing is, she can't take them with her either. By himself, my father is a horrible parent. By herself, my mother is a horrible parent. Together, they are merely terrible.
I don't want to live in a family that's broken. I want to see my sister, my brother, my mother, and my father. I want them to be happy.
My parents can't be happy together. They have to be apart.
My siblings can't be happy with just one parent. They have to be together.
But life at home is so terrible, so violent, that it's unbearable.
It's an impossible choice. That's why I refused to go to college in the same town where we lived. That's why I moved out. And sometimes, all the time, I wish I could take my siblings with me.
But this Christmas will also be bitter. Because it is one of the last. Mom told me this morning that, after being away for a month, she has decided that she will completely separate from Dad. She doesn't know where she will live, but she knows that she can't leave Sis and Bro behind. The thing is, she can't take them with her either. By himself, my father is a horrible parent. By herself, my mother is a horrible parent. Together, they are merely terrible.
I don't want to live in a family that's broken. I want to see my sister, my brother, my mother, and my father. I want them to be happy.
My parents can't be happy together. They have to be apart.
My siblings can't be happy with just one parent. They have to be together.
But life at home is so terrible, so violent, that it's unbearable.
It's an impossible choice. That's why I refused to go to college in the same town where we lived. That's why I moved out. And sometimes, all the time, I wish I could take my siblings with me.
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