Here we go again

It happened again.

The being ignored.

The "Oh hey, she probably doesn't care if we eat lunch with her or not, so let's have a party up in my room instead of going to the dining hall for lunch!"

While I waited an hour for them to show up.

When I asked one of them about it, the answer I got was "Oh, they said you never ate lunch with us on Tuesdays, so I believed them."

On Tuesdays, instead of sleeping in until 1 or 2 pm, I get up in the morning so I can have lunch with them at 11. Every Tuesday.

And when we had dinner together tonight, no one mentioned everything. Just shifty eyes and avoiding each other.

Now, maybe I'm paranoid, but still...

If I ask one of the others, I'll probably get an answer like "We didn't know you were going to eat with us! Why didn't you tell us?" Like it's my fault. I suppose I'm to blame for not being psychic and knowing what they decide to do without telling me, I guess. Sorry for the fact that having lunch with you at a constant time every Tuesday since the beginning of the year is not an indicator that I'll show up every week in your opinion.

It's getting to be like this every time.

This is driving me crazy. I can't stand being ignored and pushed around all the time. I've spent the first ten years of my life like this, and it was enough to make me never want to live through it again.

I guess I'll just eat by myself and ignore them for a while.

But I doubt they'll even notice. They'll just keep on doing their things without me, like they have for most of the semester.

None of the three feel like making the minute effort it would take to inform me.

The couple's so wrapped up in each other they don't even talk to anyone else any more. It doesn't matter which phone you call, one of the two will answer it. If you only see one of them, it's because the other is sick and taking a nap in the first one's room. If no one is showing up, it's because one of them is taking a shower or a nap, and the other one didn't want to wake her up or bother her. If you call them over for dinner on weekends, you'll get the answer that they already had dinner together at a restaurant earlier, and "they assumed no one else wanted to come." If there's something interesting to do or an event to go to, neither of them will go if the other's not coming along. "She has a class then... So I can't come."

It was wonderful when they started dating, they were both so happy, and we were happy for them, too.
But now it's just taken over our friendship.
We were six, now there's them, and the other four scattered off by themselves.

I guess it's over now. No matter what happens after. We've drifted too far apart. They'll be together until it's over, and then all of us will go our separate ways. We can't ever be as close as we were again. Too many things have changed, and not for the better.

It hurts.