It used to be Us and an old house and Nature all around. Us six together, without a care in the world.
It seems like it lasted forever, but, really, it wasn't even an entire year.
I remember, and I know they remember, that August night we spent in the old house, sharing our secrets, talking until the sun rose again. That night, we were so close together. We knew each other. All of us.
Then October came, and Things went wrong. New experiences were had, disaster loomed, and was averted. But Six became Five.
In November, a Secret was kept, found, and brought to the light.
In December, two Secrets emerged, and a lifelong friendship strained. Eventually, Five became Three and that friendship was lost.
It was ironic, because the One and the other Two left to take care of their happiness. And the Three were happy to see them happy.
But not really.
In the old house, we were six, but not Six. Artsy Friend never spent the night anymore, she went off with Awkward Fiancé instead. Bookish Friend and Friend With Many Pairs of Sunglasses went to a separate room to sleep and Do Things That Are Done In Twos. Childish Booksmart Friend, Fiendishly Intelligent Friend and I were left to look awkwardly at each other and at a movie we didn't really want to watch that Friend With Many Pairs of Sunglasses had only put on so she wouldn't feel too bad leaving us by ourselves while she went off with Bookish Friend.
Ever since we parted at graduation in May, this Christmas Break was the first time we were together again, all six of us.
And, for once, it was a bit like before.
Akward Fiancé left after a couple of hours, letting Artsy Friend out of his sight for the first time in six months or possibly more. We all sat down on the old rug to gossip and tell secrets, as all girls are wont to do. And then we slept. For the first time in a long time, the Two stayed with us.
For one night, it was almost like before. The walls we'd built thinned, and we were almost together. But not quite.
By morning, it was gone. Awkward Fiancé picked up Artsy Friend early, too early to let her come with us to visit a favorite teacher at our old school. But it didn't matter, because she wouldn't have come anyway. Then, Friend With Many Pairs of Sunglasses, who stayed at Bookish Friend's for the break, said she was tired, so Bookish Friend drove the rest of us home by 9:30 so they could be together.
It felt good to be with them, but I realized that it was over. There wasn't an Us anymore. And there won't be.
Artsy Friend is marrying Awkward Fiancé this Fall. I think she's too young, I don't like the groom, and I think it's all a really big mistake, but she's my friend so I will smile at the wedding and hug her and congratulate her and wish her luck.
Bookish Friend and Friend With the Many Pairs of Sunglasses have been together for a year and a month now, and are quite happy and ...together.
Fiendishly Intelligent Friend goes to a college up North that may as well be at the North Pole, for all the communication we have. She's meeting new people and doing new things, and I think she's the one who got the best deal out of all of us.
Childish Booksmart Friend doesn't believe in love and feels slightly lost because Friend With the Many Pairs of Sunglasses had been her best friend since the first grade. It's hard to know that two friends you consider your best friends suddenly mean more to each other than you do to them, and you're left outside as an excuse and an alibi.
And me? I watch silently and decide my life will be different.
There is no more Us, but I'll remember that night. When it was Us and no secrets between.
Almost.
I know a Secret was kept that night. Not my Secret, someone else's. It's a Secret I guessed long ago.
I'm good at guessing Secrets.
I'm also good at keeping them.
It seems like it lasted forever, but, really, it wasn't even an entire year.
I remember, and I know they remember, that August night we spent in the old house, sharing our secrets, talking until the sun rose again. That night, we were so close together. We knew each other. All of us.
Then October came, and Things went wrong. New experiences were had, disaster loomed, and was averted. But Six became Five.
In November, a Secret was kept, found, and brought to the light.
In December, two Secrets emerged, and a lifelong friendship strained. Eventually, Five became Three and that friendship was lost.
It was ironic, because the One and the other Two left to take care of their happiness. And the Three were happy to see them happy.
But not really.
In the old house, we were six, but not Six. Artsy Friend never spent the night anymore, she went off with Awkward Fiancé instead. Bookish Friend and Friend With Many Pairs of Sunglasses went to a separate room to sleep and Do Things That Are Done In Twos. Childish Booksmart Friend, Fiendishly Intelligent Friend and I were left to look awkwardly at each other and at a movie we didn't really want to watch that Friend With Many Pairs of Sunglasses had only put on so she wouldn't feel too bad leaving us by ourselves while she went off with Bookish Friend.
Ever since we parted at graduation in May, this Christmas Break was the first time we were together again, all six of us.
And, for once, it was a bit like before.
Akward Fiancé left after a couple of hours, letting Artsy Friend out of his sight for the first time in six months or possibly more. We all sat down on the old rug to gossip and tell secrets, as all girls are wont to do. And then we slept. For the first time in a long time, the Two stayed with us.
For one night, it was almost like before. The walls we'd built thinned, and we were almost together. But not quite.
By morning, it was gone. Awkward Fiancé picked up Artsy Friend early, too early to let her come with us to visit a favorite teacher at our old school. But it didn't matter, because she wouldn't have come anyway. Then, Friend With Many Pairs of Sunglasses, who stayed at Bookish Friend's for the break, said she was tired, so Bookish Friend drove the rest of us home by 9:30 so they could be together.
It felt good to be with them, but I realized that it was over. There wasn't an Us anymore. And there won't be.
Artsy Friend is marrying Awkward Fiancé this Fall. I think she's too young, I don't like the groom, and I think it's all a really big mistake, but she's my friend so I will smile at the wedding and hug her and congratulate her and wish her luck.
Bookish Friend and Friend With the Many Pairs of Sunglasses have been together for a year and a month now, and are quite happy and ...together.
Fiendishly Intelligent Friend goes to a college up North that may as well be at the North Pole, for all the communication we have. She's meeting new people and doing new things, and I think she's the one who got the best deal out of all of us.
Childish Booksmart Friend doesn't believe in love and feels slightly lost because Friend With the Many Pairs of Sunglasses had been her best friend since the first grade. It's hard to know that two friends you consider your best friends suddenly mean more to each other than you do to them, and you're left outside as an excuse and an alibi.
And me? I watch silently and decide my life will be different.
There is no more Us, but I'll remember that night. When it was Us and no secrets between.
Almost.
I know a Secret was kept that night. Not my Secret, someone else's. It's a Secret I guessed long ago.
I'm good at guessing Secrets.
I'm also good at keeping them.
2 comments:
Some places and times cannot be revisited. So long as they remain as Good Things in the memory, that's the important thing. And, just occasionally, a new relationship with someone from years ago can become totally different but equally good in its own way. Life is change.
It was after midnight when I arrived back at The Cottage and I decided to leave my comment on this posting (I repeat that I do love your style). I have just read SS's comments. They could have been my own. Thus they have prompted a posting on A Hebridean in New Zealand ( http://rotowhenua2.blogspot.com/2009/01/jigsaw.html )'cos there's too much to say here.
Post a Comment