Mom dearest went berserk over The Driving Controversy today and no longer wants me to learn. (Huh. That's news.) Her argument in the past was that I had to wait until the legal age in France to learn to drive, but now that that's passed, she's running out of valid arguments.
See, she wants me to learn in a driving school.The conversation goes somewhat like this and happens at least four times a week:
Me: Mom, I am eighteen. I want to learn how to drive so I can go places and you won't have to take me there.
Mom: I forbid you to learn from your father, and I will not teach you. I want you to go to a driving school like all proper young ladies.
Me: Fine then. Can you please take me there so we can see how much it costs and get me registered for it?
Mom: You're paying for it.
Me: Um, if I learned from you or Dad, it would be free. Besides, with what money? I have no allowance and no job.
Mom: Get a job.
Me: There are no buses in this city, and we live in the suburbs. You'd have to drive me there.
Mom: I refuse to drive you to a job every day. Everyone in this family takes advantage of me, I never have any time to myself.
Me: Dad cannot drive me to a job, he's at work and he rides a bike. I cannot get a job if you don't drive me there.
Mom: Everyone in this family conspires against me!
Me: No, we're not. You want me to go to a driving school, and I have to get a job to afford it, and I have to somehow get to this job.
Mom: If we lived in France, like I want to, this wouldn't be a problem.
Me: Yeah, but we don't. We live in the US.
Mom: Well, if your father hadn't turned you children against me, we would be in France right now.
Me: Mom! We were kids. Fifth graders cannot decide whether or not their family moves. You and Dad decided this.
Mom: Your father! It's always about your father! Why did I ever marry him? No one ever listens to me! I have no freedom! You are an ungrateful child!
Me: Please, Mom, I am trying to have a reasonable conversation with you. Can you please stop monologuing?
Mom: You! You always look for opportunities! It's always about you! You never listen to me! You never talk to me! You only listen when it benefits you! You are an egotistical, self-centered, ungrateful, opportunistic schemer.
Me: Thanks, Mom.
See, she wants me to learn in a driving school.The conversation goes somewhat like this and happens at least four times a week:
Me: Mom, I am eighteen. I want to learn how to drive so I can go places and you won't have to take me there.
Mom: I forbid you to learn from your father, and I will not teach you. I want you to go to a driving school like all proper young ladies.
Me: Fine then. Can you please take me there so we can see how much it costs and get me registered for it?
Mom: You're paying for it.
Me: Um, if I learned from you or Dad, it would be free. Besides, with what money? I have no allowance and no job.
Mom: Get a job.
Me: There are no buses in this city, and we live in the suburbs. You'd have to drive me there.
Mom: I refuse to drive you to a job every day. Everyone in this family takes advantage of me, I never have any time to myself.
Me: Dad cannot drive me to a job, he's at work and he rides a bike. I cannot get a job if you don't drive me there.
Mom: Everyone in this family conspires against me!
Me: No, we're not. You want me to go to a driving school, and I have to get a job to afford it, and I have to somehow get to this job.
Mom: If we lived in France, like I want to, this wouldn't be a problem.
Me: Yeah, but we don't. We live in the US.
Mom: Well, if your father hadn't turned you children against me, we would be in France right now.
Me: Mom! We were kids. Fifth graders cannot decide whether or not their family moves. You and Dad decided this.
Mom: Your father! It's always about your father! Why did I ever marry him? No one ever listens to me! I have no freedom! You are an ungrateful child!
Me: Please, Mom, I am trying to have a reasonable conversation with you. Can you please stop monologuing?
Mom: You! You always look for opportunities! It's always about you! You never listen to me! You never talk to me! You only listen when it benefits you! You are an egotistical, self-centered, ungrateful, opportunistic schemer.
Me: Thanks, Mom.
1 comment:
Very funny post! (Hopefully it was supposed to be....)
I'm C.Beth's sister, and I emailed you about the art pen pal thing. Can you let me know if you got it?
Thanks! I've been enjoying looking at your blog. :)
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